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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24379099">Belonging</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyricalive/pseuds/lyricalive'>lyricalive</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Touhou Project</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Consensual But Not Safe Or Sane, F/F, Immortals, POV First Person</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:27:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,973</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24379099</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lyricalive/pseuds/lyricalive</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>[Split POV] "This tangle of feelings is too complicated to unravel, so I'd rather experience it all at once." / "There is no greater definition of being alive."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fujiwara no Mokou/Houraisan Kaguya</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Belonging</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>
  <em>A promising day.  The sky was clear, and the rabbits were hard at work.  I hummed a merry tune to the measure of the mochi-pounding ceremony.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Somehow, I knew that she would come today.  I just had a nice feeling.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"She" is my favorite human... my endlessly intriguing, unrelenting, ever-passionate companion who allows me to never regret the choices I have made.  To think that I would be lucky enough to pull someone like her into my world, she is my indeed my most precious treasure.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>There was a time when I could not live in such high spirits.  No longer could I even imagine my days in that kind of life.  All that concerned me now was finding fun things to motivate myself.  Things like showing that girl more and more of what I can do.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Perhaps these conditions will change once again.  No, inevitably they will.  I still have much to learn, and many more possibilities to embrace.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But the one constant is that she will be there.  Certainly, this is where I belong.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It is always a comfort to know that she, too, belongs to me.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>A boring day.  I was making my usual rounds through the forest in search of the lost, but the truth was I hoped I wouldn't find any.  I didn't really have the energy to interact with anyone... else.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Wandering in a familiar direction, I ended up shamelessly taking the path toward the House of Eternity.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>It's the home of my long-time rival... an unbearably smug, self-indulgent, masochistic lunatic that I've sworn to murder a million times over.  But I'm not going there because I'm angry with her.  It's just because I want to see her.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Though I'd rather not announce it to the world, this wasn't a secret to myself anymore.  And I knew that she knew, too.  It was comforting to have this unspoken agreement.  The original reasoning behind our relationship had faded away, and the relationship itself was all that remained.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Without a doubt, my days with her were the most interesting.  My days with her were what gave me my energy.  I might go so far as to say that this person was my biggest reason to live.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Well, it strips a lot of the sappiness from it to know that I can't die anyway.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>And I sure had a strange way of expressing my appreciation.</strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>I waited for her from the other side of the window closest to the entrance.  As soon as I saw her figure approaching on the horizon, I eagerly rose to meet her, as if she were a young lover picking me up for a rendezvous.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Bidding goodbye to the rabbits, I took my place by her side.  We went for a quiet stroll that led us into a secluded circle of the bamboo forest.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Hm, I wonder what happened next?  It is often difficult to recall how our matches start.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The next thing I remember was the sharp impact of her fist against my chin.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Naturally, I retaliated.  Before she could follow up with another swing, I caught hold of a thick mass of hair at her scalp and pulled until her head was parallel with the ground.  She gritted her teeth, twisted my arm into an angle that forced me to let go, and pushed me roughly away.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Once at a safe distance, she assumed a wide stance which signaled that she intended to summon her magic.  I took the opportunity to prepare mine as well.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The temperature of the surrounding area rose insidiously, one degree at a time.  The heat of her fire, and its faint smoky scent, intoxicated me like a drug.  I gracefully grazed her bullets of flame as I launched my own colorful jewels toward her through the openings.  In this manner, alternating turns in a choreographed dance, we painted a lovely pattern upon the canvas of the forest path.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>At last, one of my projectiles struck her squarely in the chest.  With the wind knocked out of her lungs, she was thrust backwards into a thicket of sharp bamboo stalks, losing her power to keep up the attack.  Of course, my shots were not fatal.  I would never let the job be done so impersonally.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I strode forward to finish her off, taking my time to gaze upon the image of her crumpled form before me.  I used one finger to raise her chin up at me, ready to snap her neck with the next step.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>However, I underestimated just how much fight she had left in her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Less than a moment later, I was suddenly looking up at my companion instead of down.  In one fluid motion, she had stretched out her right leg in a low kick that managed to sweep me off my feet.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She then proceeded to land several punches on me in my state of incapacity.  One after another, after another, after another.  Oh, dear.  It was I who had made a fatal mistake.  I could not overturn the momentum.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It would be over very soon.  She reached down one last time.  Using both hands, she clutched me by the throat and strangled me firmly, lifting my bruised body and leaving my feet to dangle in the air.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I gasped for a breath that would not come.  She floated upwards, taking me higher with her.  I was held aloft like a trophy for several helpless seconds before she threw me back to the ground below.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Finally, with all of her force, she brought her foot down upon my crown of my head.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The descent was swift, but the digging in was slow and steady.  I found my face trapped between the filthy earth and the sole of her boot.  All of her unrestrained strength concentrated in one place, every ounce of her weight bearing down upon me...  I could feel that her actions were fueled by pure passion.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Chained by the shackles of human nature, this type of passion is an impossible ideal.  It is always inhibited by unconscious fear.  Therefore, there was no other human in the world who could treat me in such a pure way as my dear Mokou, who had traded away her fear for my sake.  In this moment, what could be more romantic than sharing this ritual together, something that only we two can do?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Her overwhelming pressure broke open my skin before it reached my skull.  A stream of warm blood trickled down my cheek.  It was not unpleasant, nor was it numb.  It was a thoroughly thrilling sensation. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>A loud crack echoed through my consciousness, and then I could no longer hear the sound of the wind or the rustle of leaves.  I could, only barely, still see out of one eye.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>What a treat.  Her proud grin would be the last thing that I see before my vision fades.  I smiled in return.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ah, I love it when I am able to die with a smile.  Mokou, do you feel as if you have won?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>My only regret was that my broken throat could not speak the words I wished to say.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>When next we meet, I will be sure to express my appreciation.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>I know.  This mutual killing is a game for us.  But what kind of person do you have to be to actually smile as you're being crushed to death?</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>That calm smile of hers haunts me.  No matter how hard I fight, even if rip her beating heart from her chest, she can somehow act completely like herself.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Honestly, it was kind of funny.  When I thought about this, I started laughing, a genuine laugh without a trace of bitterness behind it.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>I've lost count of victories and defeats.  None of that matters.  It's the little things that matter, like the slightly different expressions I get to see from her each time.  I may as well enjoy it because, with each one, I know what she's trying to do.  She's trying to catch me off guard.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>I sat on the doorstep of my cabin, staring blankly out at a burnt patch of grass in the clearing.  Here I was, thinking about her again.  Isn't this a little too often?  I could almost hear her voice ringing in my head.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>...Huh, that's not right.  I actually heard her.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>I turned sharply to see that haunting smile, and that pitch-black wave of perfect hair swaying in the light breeze. </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Kaguya seemed to venture out of her mansion a bit more often these days.  I guess I should be 'honored' that, when she did, she came to visit me.  In person, rather than sending assassins.  I could immediately tell, she wanted to play with me again today.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Even so, I stood up and ambled over to her with my hands in my pockets, asking her what she wanted.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>In response... she wrapped her arms around my neck in a way that was unusually gentle.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>My heart skipped a beat.  Damn.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>She leaned into my ear and whispered something about thanking me for yesterday.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Then, before I could think any further, she kneed me in the stomach.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Tch, a cheap shot.  Of course, there weren't any rules.  That was part of the fun.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>While doubled over, I surrounded myself with a large, transient burst of fire as a shield against a second attack.  By the time it faded, I had regained my balance and was rushing toward her with a ready fist.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>She raised her arm to block, and my fist struck something much tougher than bone before rebounding off.  With a mischievous laugh, she withdrew her weapon from the folds of her sleeve - a small, forked branch adorned with five round jewels.  I knew it well.  It was the treasure with a history that mocked me, though it had begun to feel like a joke to me too.  By now I would have snapped it like the twig it is, if only it weren't as indestructible as her.  She pointed the sharpest end in my direction, surely meaning to carve some kind of message into my skin.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>She swung it once, passing close enough to tear a rip down the center of my shirt.  I dodged her next swing and landed a solid kick to her shin.  Unfazed, she swung again.  Again it fell short of contact, but managed to hook onto the strap of my suspenders and pull me toward her.  I clenched my jaw, knowing this could be just as deadly of a result.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Using her free hand to hold me in place, her eyes locked with mine as she re-aimed the branch.  It was poised to stab me in the chest.  ...Except, she didn't stab.  After damaging my shirt, my bare body was exposed from the neck to the stomach.  She cautiously trailed the tip of the branch along this vulnerable stretch.  The path she traced started low and curved up, gently circling my breast.  For a moment that felt like several, just like in her greeting today, her touch was soft, disorienting...</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>The moment passed, and she was slashing fervently at me again.  Like nothing had happened.  She left no scratch, only an invisible line that tingled in her absence.  And here I'd thought her shots couldn't get any cheaper.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Centering my focus, I blocked each ensuing blow as it came.  A few nicked me, but soon enough I could read exactly where she was aiming.  We clashed like swordsmen without swords.  It was always satisfying to catch onto her rhythm, to move seamlessly in sync.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>At the same time, taking a short step between each impact, my intent was to drive her backwards little by little.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>That's it.  Just a little more...</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Before she realized her surroundings, I seized both her wrists and had her pinned against the door of my cabin.  The branch slipped from her fingers and lodged into the earth with a thump.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Our noses were inches apart, close enough to see the sweat on each other's brow.  Go on, show me your face in this situation, too.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>I tightened my grip, getting close to snapping the bones, and the corners of her mouth broke into that familiar smile.  What a pervert.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Then it occurred to me she wasn't necessarily smiling about that.  She was too busy gazing deeply into my eyes as if she were thinking about something else entirely.  Her heavy breath reached my cheek.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Her lips subtly moved, forming the syllables of my name.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Then, she leaned forward and pressed those lips to mine.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>A muffled noise escaped me involuntarily.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>She was doing it again.  Trying to catch me off guard.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>You know what...?  Not this time.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Every muscle in me tensed, in such a way that I had never felt more relaxed.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Princess, this is hardly a surprise... as if you weren't warming me up every step of the way.  If anything, I'm only surprising myself with how naturally my body is dealing with it on my own.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Right now, I decided, I should do what I feel like doing.  What is there to lose?</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Without breaking our connection, I shoved her back against the wall and kissed her harder.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>My eyes were closed, relishing this moment.  From the mild trembling of her still-pinned hands, I could picture her reaction.  I refused to let her move.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>She began trying to work her tongue into my mouth, seemingly still intent to one-up me.  I used my own to push it back in its place, taking only what I wanted.  I felt myself gaining strength from the quickly multiplying heat.  All the intensity we harbored was condensed into this tiny microcosm of our battle.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Gradually, she bent at the knees and let her frame slide down the wall, and I lowered myself with her.  In this heap on the floor, the kiss messily broke off, but we remained pressed tightly against each other, lips seeking some other place to travel.  Her skin everywhere was so smooth, fully rejuvenated every time after tearing it apart, begging me to sully it again.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>I went for her ear, while she went for my shoulder.  She breathed deeply into the pocket of my neck, as if trying to absorb the scent.  Dragging down my torn collar, she kissed the shoulder several times. Then she abruptly bared her teeth and bit down hard.  I winced, and she giggled deliriously.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>I became aware of a metallic taste in my mouth, and noticed a dripping of red from her ear.  I'd also bitten her before I even knew it.  As we embraced, the tips of my fingers clawed into her back, and vice versa.  The stinging closeness made me shiver with excitement.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>What was this bizarre mix of feelings?  Is it the same?  Is it different?  Something about this felt like we had crossed a sort of line, but there was no reason, and no way, to go back.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>The only mystery to me was how we ever resisted before.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>While there was no doubt that this would happen eventually, this truly is a special kind of happiness.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Still, how unfair.  She has me trapped underneath her strong legs, looming over me as if I have been captured.  What sort of vulgar position is this for someone like me?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I am kidding.  You are just so fun to tease.  But with you, there is no need to uphold silly formalities.  My dear Mokou, I would like nothing more than for you to take me completely.  I so adore how you can fill my vision and leave room for nothing else.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>I remembered back to the first time I reunited with Kaguya, the culmination of centuries spent thirsting for revenge.  Mere minutes after I met her, I was already bashing her head in.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Now, minutes after the kiss, I was already on top of her naked body sprawled across the tatami mat of my shack.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>For two people who have so much time in the world, things sure tended to progress fast when we were together.  Maybe it's some kind of manipulation by her power.  Whatever, I'm not complaining.  The sooner we start, the sooner we can do it again and again.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>I traced her curves with my eyes, then with my rough hands.  In retrospect, there was no doubt about it.  The woman in front of me was incredibly beautiful, a legendary beauty.  But I wasn't thinking about that.  That's not who she is to me.  We have our own story to share.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>These two bodies are in no way strangers.  We have quite literally seen each other inside and out.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And yet, I wonder, are there places we still have not discovered?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I want to know.  I want to feel that.  I want to feel everything.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Pain and pleasure, hers mingling with mine.  There is no greater definition of being alive.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>No matter what we do, I can't get enough of her.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>This tangle of feelings is too complicated to unravel.  So, I'd rather experience it all at once.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Refusing to choose what makes sense, instead seizing the freedom to do anything...</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>This seems to be the best way I can express it.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>I assure her that no part of me is too delicate.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>I won't hold anything back.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Ahh, just as I craved...  She has no technique, but violently stirs me up like a storm on the water.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>It's working.  I'll make her wrap her fingers around me and not let go.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>However tightly I grasp, is it not still she who is wrapped around my finger? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>Come at me.  As always, I won't stop until she has nothing left.</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Her touch is magnificently hot.  Make it hotter.  Light me up from the inside.</em>
</p>
<p><strong>Watch me.  </strong> <em>Love me.  </em> <strong>Seize me.  </strong> <em>Defile me.</em></p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>Belong to me.  Belong to me more.</em> </strong>
</p>
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